And it was glorious. I took hot showers, sorted through old pictures for a digital scrapbooking project, watched movies, and spread out as much as I wanted in my plush queen size bed.
On Friday and Saturday nights, I headed to St. Louis's loop to meet up with my husband and his art friends for dinner. They're in town exhibiting at a comic convention, so I had a chance to meet many of the people Caleb sees on a regular basis when he travels. People like "The Sugar Twins," a couple from Orlando who make art based on their love of candy. Chris Hamer, a big bearded guy who happily jiggled along with the bellydancer at the Mediterranean restaurant where we dined last night. I chatted with Caleb's talented art partner Carla and shared a plate of hummus, cheese pies, and an inedible salad of parsley.
This was a big step for me. I rarely spend money on myself, and hardly ever take vacations. I knew I needed this, but our house also needed new gutters, the furnace still had to be paid off, our taxes are due this month, and. . .you know the list. I'm sure you have your own.
It took a lot for me to press the "Are You Sure You Want to Book?" button on the bed and breakfast site I chose last week. I even had a fight with Caleb over it, insisting that we couldn't afford it, I really didn't need the time off, and I was not sure about traveling that far with the kids by myself.
I'm glad I hit the button. Chuck and Magretta at the "Forget Me Not" Bed and Breakfast in St. Louis prepared beautiful Finnish pancakes with almonds and cherries, eggs and bacon with chives, blueberry muffins, and fresh pineapple.
Then they left me alone.
It wasn't all perfect. For those of us who struggle with taking "me" time, we tend to sabotage that time with worry. I struggled with worry over my schedule next week, I fought my urge to get my scrapbooking completely finished. I kicked myself over not having blogged since December and about cheating on my carefully regimented eating program. I checked out other friends' Facebook sites and lamented that my life wasn't as fulfilled as theirs appeared to be.
Then I remembered that I'm not the only one who needs this. My kids and husband need me to be rested too. I've snapped at Hayden, shoved Lincoln into other peoples' arms when I didn't want to hold him, and started fights with Caleb a little too often in the past several months.
All work and no play makes Heather a miserable girl.
And, surprisingly, I'm going to go on vacation again in two weeks.
I'll probably still have an agenda. I'll forget to detox from Facebook, and I'll worry about money.
But at least I'll be doing it on a beach in California. Wearing SPF 200.
Much love to you,
Do you struggle with taking a break from life? I'd love to hear how some of you get over that need to always work, to always be busy.
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